


Let Me Go

by PeachyWoNiu



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:58:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22992061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachyWoNiu/pseuds/PeachyWoNiu
Summary: So this takes place in Season 10 when Dean turns into a demon because of the Mark of Cain. I always felt like this was when Sam and Castiel could have been together. There are so many moments throughout the season that kind of hint at the possibility of more. I also believe that when they get Dean back and season 11 gets going is when Destiel really begins. Anyway, rant over. Not sure if I'm going to do more with this. If you guys like it enough I'll see about continuing the story. But I hope you like this as a self-contained thing.Sam is devastated by Dean's death, and torn apart when he discovers his brother's body is gone. When Castiel finally makes it to the bunker, what will the two heartbroken men do to seek comfort?Enjoy! <3
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Comments: 3
Kudos: 28





	Let Me Go

_Let me go_.

That’s what the note said. That’s what Sam had read before collapsing into the nearby wooden chair in his brother’s room. It’s what he told Castiel he found as soon as the angel called asking about Dean. Three words that crushed both of them more than they could say.

Who left it and took his brother’s body?

Castiel couldn’t understand either. Both of them tried looking for evidence of who could have gotten into the bunker but came up empty handed. The idea that Dean had somehow survived and written that himself was out of the question. He would never have left.

Or would he?

The mark really fucked him up. Before he– before what happened…he had been erratic and frighteningly violent. And it felt like he had been doing his best to push everyone away. Like he could see what was happening to himself. It was the reason why Sam felt his brother was still keeping control; was still Dean.

He should have done more to help his brother. Sam was intimately familiar with that particular dark side of a person. He’d gone through it himself with demon blood. But he never thought Dean would bend under the pressure. Not _his_ big brother who was stubborn and strong to a fault.

“Sam…?”

The question came as a bit of a surprise. He turned hazel eyes on the man standing in the doorway to his brother’s room and sucked in a deep breath to steady himself. Castiel took a step forward, brows creased in concern.

Running his palm roughly against his watering eyes, Sam sniffed and answered thickly, “Hey Cas.”

“Are you…are you alright?” the angel asked cautiously, edging closer like he was approaching a wild animal.

“No, I uh…” Sam mumbled bitterly. “To be honest, no I’m not.”

Cas’ lips pressed together, paling around the edges as he struggled with how to answer. Sam glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, noticing how disheveled he looked. He’d said something about Gadreel sacrificing himself over the phone. Nodding to the drywall still coating his shoulders, Sam asked, “What about you? You okay?”

Castiel glanced down at himself, almost like he’d forgotten what had happened up in heaven. He didn’t answer.

They sat in silence for some time, both lost in thought. Eventually, Castiel shuffled closer to Dean’s bed, taking in the sight of blood smudging the blanket. Sam watched him, wondering what was going through the angel’s head. As he’d said himself before, he and Dean shared a “profound bond”. What did that mean? He’s an angel. Is he even able to feel anything? Sure, he’d been human for a time, but now he had his grace back.

“We will find whoever took him.” Cas said, voice dangerous and low.

Sam blinked, brows shooting up his forehead toward his hairline. The angel turned, fixing his piercing blue eyes on Sam’s hazel ones. Instead of anger, there was intense grief. The Winchester had never seen such raw emotion on Castiel’s face before. And it occurred to Sam like a slap in the face that Cas was looking at him like that because he cared. Not just for Dean, but also for him. It felt like this was the first time the angel had ever really looked at him. Seen him.

The shorter of the two strode over and hoisted Sam out of the chair he was sitting in. Again, Sam’s first instinct was to think that he was about to get a fist to the side of the face, but instead Cas wrapped his arms around his torso. Sam’s eyes widened when he realized that he was getting hugged.

He thought he should say something. But in that moment, arms trapped at his side, he realized how much he needed to be held. Dean was dead. There hadn’t even been an option for a hunter’s burial. Hell, there hadn’t even been time for grief. A choked sob escaped before Sam could stop it. Cas pulled him in tighter.

The smaller man’s body pressed flush against Sam’s chest was strange. It had been around two years since he’d been this close to another person. He couldn’t help but lean into Cas.

How long had they been friends? Over five years? Sam wondered why he and Cas had never really gotten the chance to get to know each other. At least, in a way that wasn’t more than passing appreciation and respect.

Sam had always wanted more. Back when they first learned of angels Sam had been ecstatic. Finally, his prayers were being heard. His beliefs were proven. The world wasn’t as shitty as he thought it was. There was hope.

But no. Cas didn’t give him the time of day because he was tainted. Angels up in Heaven were dicks. And God was gone, nowhere to be found. And Sam’s life was just as shitty as he’d always tried hoping it wasn’t.

“Cas–” “Sam–”

The pair spoke at the same time.

“Don’t say anything,” Sam muttered, pulling away enough to look down at Cas’ face. “I just want to say…thank you.”

Cas’ hands wound deeper into the back of Sam’s shirt. Sam wondered if he was just as starved of touch as he had been. In that moment he decided to throw caution to the wind and brought his hands up.

Long fingers pressed against the smaller man’s side, traveling down to rest above his hips. It was one of those moments that could have gone one of many ways. Either one of them could have pushed the other away or pulled back. Someone could have laughed it off or gotten angry. But they chose to stay locked together, breathing in each other’s scents. Sam was the first to move. He curled his arms under Cas’, running his hands up along the angel’s shoulder blades and spine, and set his forehead against his shoulder.

Sam felt Cas’ body stiffen. It was his turn to hold tight as he breathed desperately, “Wait, just…just wait.”

Cas’ muscles remained taut, but he didn’t let go. Confusion made the air thick between them. Hands began to roam. First slowly, then more confidently. Sam was the first to let out a small moan of satisfaction. It was surprising to both of them, but neither commented. In fact, they silently enjoyed that the other was having the same amount of gratification from this as their counterpart.

Without words it seemed that they’d both agreed to move forward with this. Whatever ‘ _this’_ was.

The feel of lips against his neck startled Sam. Letting out a small gasp, he clutched Castiel closer. And with that the angel didn’t need any other sign. Suddenly, the pair was stumbling together across the floor. Sam’s back slammed into the nearby wall, Castiel’s mouth chasing after his as it did.

There was no more time for words. No more time for questioning what they were doing. There was a need to be fulfilled.

“Not here,” Sam murmured, catching sight of Dean’s bed as he craned his head back to give Castiel better access.

Knowing exactly what Sam was talking about, Cas pulled back and nodded. Catching hold of Sam’s hand, he tugged the taller man after him as he briskly strode out the room and down the hall. They didn’t get far before Sam caught Cas’ hand and trapped him against the wall.

The larger of the two stooped enough that his lips could fully capture the other’s. Castiel took in a sharp intake of air through his nostrils as Sam pressed needily into their kiss.

“Sam,” Castiel breathed, his hands roaming up the Winchester’s chest.

Sam made a shushing sound before pressing once again, mouthing against the angel. They slid along the wall, further away from the room that still haunted both their thoughts.

The first of them to make a bold move was Castiel. His hand drifted south, palming unabashedly at the semi in Sam’s pants. The taller of the two gasped but didn’t run. In fact, he reciprocated by grinding against the angel’s hand.

Their journey down the hall paused right there as they clutched each other needily. Sam ground against Cas’ hand and Cas humped against Sam’s leg. Hot breath puffed out across skin leaving goosebumps in its wake. Both grunted as they sought out pleasure from the other. Until at least, Sam could feel Cas’ hard member twitching against the flesh of his thigh. Something in Sam fully realized that this was happening.

Reluctantly, he pulled his hips back from Castiel’s palm, breaking the spell their connection had on them. But instead of either of them arguing about why this was a bad idea, they both silently came to the understanding that it was going to happen. Without speaking, they continued their trek through the hallway toward a room that hadn’t been recently tainted by death. Sam adjusted his throbbing erection as he walked, glancing down at Castiel’s at his side. It strained against his dress pants, bobbing slightly with each step.

At the younger Winchester’s door, the pair paused again. Blue eyes turned up to regard the other silently. Despite the general unreadability of his face, Sam was able to put together that the angel was wondering if this was okay to do. In answer, Sam reached up, cupping his chin and twining his long fingers into the short hairs on the back of Cas’ head. They both needed this.

Tilting his head, Sam pressed their lips together, setting the pace of their kiss slower than what had been going on before. Now he took his time familiarizing himself with how the angel’s lips felt against his own. They were softer than he was expecting; colder too. Like walking through fog in the early morning. Wanting more, Sam slipped his tongue out. Castiel opened to it immediately, his own tongue testing the space between their mouths.

For a moment that surprised Sam. When he thought of Castiel, he thought of the fact that he was a warrior of Heaven first, sheltered and naïve second. But there had been times when the angel had given in to pleasures. He had done this before. Perhaps not enough to truly become comfortable or fluent with the act. Sam smiled slightly as they kissed, and pressed the shorter of the two back into his room.

Once inside with the door closed, clothing stared coming off. When their lips weren’t together, their bodies were. It was all a blur of heat and want. Eventually, clad in only his jeans, Sam came up for air. He looked down at Castiel standing in only white cotton boxers. There was no sweat on his pale skin, but a light dusting of pink had cropped up on his chest and cheeks. It made the angel look almost human.

Gulping, Sam sank down onto his bed. He didn’t say anything. Nervousness creeping in kept his mouth shut, nostrils flared, and heart pumping wildly. He watched Castiel’s head tilt curiously as he circled the foot of the bed, like he was a museum curator studying a freshly acquired piece of art. Appreciative and yet somehow…hungry. It sent a shiver down Sam’s spine.

As the angel stepped between his legs, Sam’s nostrils flared. Castiel hesitated, listening to the Winchester’s heavy breathing.

Sam watched his lips part, getting ready to say something. Before he had the chance to break the spell over them, he reached out. His hands came to rest on Castiel’s hips, the pads of his fingers digging into his bare skin. Tugging gently, Sam brought the angel close enough for him to rest his forehead against his stomach. Again, he felt cool, like a brisk spring breeze. It felt good against the desire burning under his own skin.

“Just be with me,” Sam muttered sadly, lips catching against the skin above Cas’ waistband.

The angel didn’t speak. So, Sam’s hand roamed to the erection in front of his face. Using the meaty part of his palm and his thumb, he pressed it up and back against Cas’ stomach. He shuddered, but Sam steadied him with his other hand, holding him in place. Slowly he moved his hand up and down, the fabric of Cas’ boxers rustling quietly.

Cas groaned; voice higher than usual. Wanton. As his head fell back, his fingers reached out blindly, winding into Sam’s hair. The faster Sam went, the more desperately Cas tugged. Only when the angel’s hips started bucking on their own did he pull away from Sam.

“What – mnh!” Sam started before his mouth was covered by Cas’.

They fell back onto the mattress, Cas between Sam’s legs. The angel’s erection became trapped between the two, hard and throbbing on both their stomachs. It made Sam remember his own, still under a layer of denim. Still locked at the lips, Castiel’s hands snaked down Sam’s sides to the belt currently digging into both of them. He undid it quickly.

Sam’s pants were gone in a tangle of limbs and desperate touches. Soon it was just skin against skin. Both of them kept their eyes shut, afraid that if they saw each other now, everything would stop. And that was the last thing either of them wanted. It felt too good. In more ways than the physical.

They both faced each other on the bed now, legs twined and arms holding tight. Sweat slicked their skin, making moving against each other easier. Sam felt drunk. He couldn’t remember the last time being with someone like this made him feel this way. Castiel was amazed. It was exquisite.

The angel couldn’t help it and gasped, “Sam!”

Sam wished he hadn’t. It wasn’t enough to make him stop, but it did cause an unsettled feeling to drop into his gut.

Castiel reached between them, wrapping his hand around Sam’s weeping member. Both took in a sharp breath as the angel started pumping.

“Fuck!” Sam grunted, burying his head in Castiel’s shoulder.

Castiel’s other hand came up to Sam’s face, pulling him in intimately. Sam allowed it. And then he reciprocated. His long fingers wrapped around Cas’ shaft. It was fast and dirty. Sam kept his head in the crook of Castiel’s neck as they came to completion. Both jerked as they orgasmed, hot strings of cum coating their hands and stomachs.

They lay panting, quivering against each other, coming down from the high that was their release. But neither of them wanted it to end. Cas was the one that moved first. He pulled away, leaving cold in his wake. Sam cracked open his eyes, question creasing his brow as he sought out what the angel was doing.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Cas –”

The dark-haired man slid down, eyes half lidded and completely fixated on Sam’s still semi-hard penis. Without warning, he opened his mouth and put the head in his mouth, rolling his tongue along the tip. The sloppy way in which he was cleaning Sam’s dick had the hazel-eyed man shuddering with pleasure. It wasn’t long before he was getting hard again.

“Cas…!”

The angel pulled away, a string of saliva connecting his swollen lips to the head of Sam’s dick. He quirked an eyebrow in question, wondering why Sam would want him to stop.

“What are…what are we doing?” Sam asked breathlessly. _Are we really going through with this?_

Castiel stopped, looking like he was thinking long and hard about what was going on. Sam sat up, facing him straight on. The magic had been broken. Kind of. It still hung around like a thick cigar smoke.

“I want this,” Castiel said, licking his lips and glancing unsurely between the human next to him and whatever blank space was around him. “I want you.”

“Are you…I mean, do you –…?” Sam spluttered, casting around for the correct words.

“Shut up.” Castiel pushed him down with a strong hand against his chest.

The angel swallowed Sam’s dick, far enough that the human saw stars.

As Sam swam in pleasure, he peered blearily down at Castiel. What he saw brought everything into focus again. The angel had reached back to start preparing himself. No questions, no talking, he was just doing it. Sam’s eyes widened in shock. His dick must have gone a little flaccid because Castiel surfaced, deep blue eyes looking up in question.

“Are – are you sure?”

Castiel quirked his head, like he’d done so many other times before. Looking down at the man beneath him, the angel replied firmly, “Yes.”

Not wanting to hear anymore of the Winchester’s insecurity, Castiel once again pushed him down and set to work preparing himself. Minutes passed. Filled with moans. But eventually the angel was ready. He pumped Sam’s member, locking eyes with him.

When the head of Sam’s penis first breeched Castiel’s sphincter, Sam let out a long, low moan. Nothing could compare to the sensation; it was like being consumed inch by inch in tight warmth. When he was sheathed to the hilt inside the other man, Sam took in a shuddering breath of air. It did little to steady him, but it did provide some clarity.

_No turning back._ He thought, grabbing Castiel by the hips and rubbing soft circles into the skin there. Adjusting the both of them so that Castiel was straddling, Sam started grinding. All the angel could do was hold on to the man beneath him, moaning when the dick inside him pumped in and out.

They didn’t make love. They didn’t even really have sex. It was more like coming together into one moving being. The pair couldn’t stop themselves once they got started. Nearly two hours later, they collapsed onto the bed, drenched in sweat, panting like they’d run a marathon. Even Castiel who always seemed so composed and unaffected lay back with eyes closed.

Sam glanced at Cas’ disheveled hair and swallowed, “You okay?”

The angel cracked open an eye before nodding, “I am satisfied.”

“Good…uh, that’s…that’s good.”

Silence settled around them as they caught their breath. Sam in particular was just starting to realize what they had just done. Regret, shame, guilt. All those feelings were pooling in his chest, making every pull of air feel heavy. Castiel noticed.

Propping himself up on his elbow, he placed a pale hand against Sam’s tanned arm and asked, “Sam?”

His voice was filled with such concern. It only made the feeling eating away at Sam’s insides worse. Pulling away, he sat up and reached out for his discarded pants and started putting them on. Castiel didn’t move or make a sound. Avoiding looking back at the angel on his bed, Sam stood, buttoned his pants and muttered, “I…I need some air.”

A flash of Dean’s face bloody and pale with death roared up like a punch in the gut.

_Let me go_.

Sam left.


End file.
